Mantillion Roast
mantillion slideshow1.jpg|Mantillion Roast Titlecard mantillion slideshow2.jpg|junior gorg + beautiful day monster mantillion slideshow3.jpg|cleveland indians mantillion slideshow4.jpg|mikey with hella fine ladies Description Mantillion Roast, is the party thrown by Mikey for his 25th birthday. Mantillion is a pun on Cotillion, which is the birthday gala typically held for a young lady for her 18th birthday party. Roast Show Three teams were formed based on Mikey's different social circles: Milpitas Crew, Ninjas and The Malakings. Many of the Malakings dressed in BarongGuys get up (Barongs with shades). The three teams were judged by the party guests on which one had the best "Roast" performance for Mikey. The Malakings performed the infamous Mantillion Massacre Rap, which proved to be too offensive for the other teams as well as other party guests. 'Act 1: Roast Slideshow' The first half of the Malaking's Roast segment was a slideshow with photographs depicting Mikey's more embarassing moments with the Malakings. The slideshow also included images of different pop culture characters with whom Mikey has a resemblance (e.g. Cleveland Indians mascott and The Muppet's Gonzo The Great). Mike with japs.jpg|malaking buhok is malaking pimpin' super mikey.jpg|super mikey mike in frame.jpg|malaking buhok 'Act 2: Mantillion Massacre Song' James, Noel, Huy, Virg and Edwin wrote and performed the Mantillion Massacre song live with XioPao as the second and closing part of the Malaking's roast. The wildly catchy hook starts with "Mike takes balls to the face!" in reference to a softball accident, which happened just days before the party. The song, produced by djfoz (link), also had an extended instrumental arrangement in the end to allow other members of the Malakings to figuratively throw salt into a gaping wound by delivering one-line insults. 'Lyrics' Hook (All) Mike takes balls to the face – Just like the other day He aint got no game – Girls don’t know his name We don’t even know his race – It could be anything This mantillion’s lame – What are we doing here? Verse 1 (James) People call him “Diamonds”, he’s a girl’s best friend But a friend is as far as he gets in the end What a disgrace, Mike is a “SHim” He won’t like the Malakings after we’re through with him He begged us to roast him like an almond pe-can I sorta feel bad dissin’ The Last Mohican Wanna be respected, you’re the worse of the rest You got hella friends but you ain’t got no best? Verse 2 (Noel) Things to say ‘bout Mikey…there’s about a million But seriously though, what the hell’s a Mantillion? A rite of passage, are you finally a man? A man with long hair and hairy palms of his hands Don’t get me wrong, I know you know a lot of chicks But you need to find a girl who will TOUCH… YOUR… HAND in your van or at the lemonade stand As quick as you can, I know you’re frustrated man Verse 3 (Huy) I see Mikey strollin’ down in the mall (In the mall) Checkin all the girls while caressin’ his softballs Why do Mike play shortstop? He got no arm He spends all night stroking to the beat of his alarm Yo Mike you always see whats up, don’t lie You wish you had some whisperin’ eye Can you pleast take off your cap So people can point and say, “HOW CAN SHE SLAP?!” Repeat Hook Verse 4 (Birds) Yo Mikey we’ve known you for hella days Back in high school you were the pizza face Better go back and do more learnin’ Before you become the 40 Year Old Virgin Closing the deal, you ain’t the smartest Man you need lessons from the pickup artist When you see a sleeping girl that you think is fine All that runs in your mind is: SHOOSH TIME! Verse 5 (Performed by X, Written by Ed) O Shit Mike your face is all broke It’s no wonder your love life’s a joke The only action you get is in the friend zone And friendly fire when you’re stroking it alone One time you dreamed you got a hickey Then you woke up to find your sheets all sticky (ALL): O shit, it’s Edwin, yo! O shit, watch out... Verse 6 (Ed) Being you is embarrassing If you want proof watch your baseball swing You swing the bat like a gay Babe Ruth Gay Babe Ruth, that’s half the truth And what ‘cha doing Mike you ain’t Jason Maraz But a homo ass Prince, you just might pass Man, how are you so pathetic? I see you and Reuben – IT MUST BE GENETIC Repeat Hook Instrumental for One-liners